Always at the end of the road
there looms a why
and I walk back to where I came from
and walk another way
scared of the answers
and yet almost desperate
to acknowledge my follies
that led me to this state.

I was hardly the best
far from it, in fact
but i was me at least
and i’ll live with that
but why so quickly
why so urgently
what crime was so big
that made things like this

Yes I’ll rise from the ashes
because I am me, after all
but where is the faith gone
and from where does this distrust come
what shakes my stature
and yet makes me aware
that I am not destroyed
instead recreated again

It makes me eeriely composed
and yet so fragile
and makes me so ambitious
and yet so resigned
what made me care so much
and let myself get carried away
and when I come back, for i do always
i am seldom just the same.

Sweet it sounded in the chambers of my heart
Penetrating my solitude with its tinkle calls
Charmed I heard it, falling into a dream
Of music, of life, of love and beauty
From around my nook came then another call
Blending unknowingly with my unknown song
Resonating deep with the sound of soul
While I, unknowingly, just dreamt and thought

I didn’t realize when I did wake up
And realized my heart wasn’t just mine to hark
The mysterious caller had its music in it
Joining mine to form a twosome one
Dreaming, waking, didn’t know which
I forgot my song’s solitary tune
So strong came out the blended notes
That made me hope for a final wish

I forgot the time for the caller’s departure
And when it came, I was shocked and weak
Withering away in a world without it
I pined for days, and months, and leaps*
When came like a dawn a beating drum
That rocked to its rhythm my broken heart
It came and took it to the highest heights
Making it hope again, and dream and love

And then, it threw away its white covers
And out came a black deceptive will
Betrayed hard, I went back to my nook
Making myself forget that wound
And then, again it came for me…
White again and sorry indeed
I listened not and closed my heart
Forever… to the beckoning drum beats

*Poetic license: ‘Leaps’ stands for ‘leap years’.

I am really sorry about how all my poems make a mention of songs and music. But the thing is: all sorts of emotions have such natural music associated with them that it’s hard not to think of it. And I mean… you really can’t separate music and poetry. When you are in a particularly sentimental or peaceful mood, I bet you hear some imaginary music playing in your blood. Well, at least I do.

Into the deep of the night I walked
Into the breath of the breeze I walked
Under the branches of the trees, o’er the carpets of the leaves
I walked unknown unknowingly

It was me alone and the solitary night
Dark mysterious omniscient ever
My eyes roved around and then up into the sky
My feet lifted and lo! I was flying into the moonlight

Up and up I went on and on
My heart whooped a whoop and I went up in loops
To the moon, to the stars, to the wisps of grey
I broke into song… back home I was going again!

A mighty horseman on a white horse
Dressed up all in pristine blue
Broke against the sandy floors
And roared out horns of freedom anew

Unfathomable went down it’s depths
Stretched for leagues far into the sky
I stood quiet like an ant insignificant
In front of the mighty ocean by

Deep in it’s bowels it held secrets
No man No God knew of which
And loud came deep rumblings across
And time here stopped it’s tick

I looked and waited on and on
Waited for that mighty sweep of love
That promised to me the heart of ocean
With It’s secrets open for my curious soul

And behold my joy when it came for me
I danced and danced on it’s brow
And with a stroke of majesty It took me in
Slowly, down, into It’s world

A golden leaf dropped onto the lake
Cool and pretty, sitting quiet
Slowly, silently a ripple stretched out
Touching gentle against the tree’s might
It’s boughs stretched out to meet it then
Bereft of green for yellowish hues
That glimmered and shone with the sun behind
Which rose again in the dim-blue sky

Peace it was to a heart sore
Tired sick of man’s memorials
When a new periwinkle nodded to me
And sung it’s unspoken song of glee
Then my soul went to a world anew
Where beauty abound played hide and seek
And sung in tune with the periwinkle
The music coming to me effortlessly

P.S.: I am not sure but I suspect that the last 2 lines are copied from some famous Wordsworth poem.